Well of course the RTD count didn't stop at 3 yesterday - when at the library picking up my books I nipped into a different store and bought another 2. Then, while cooking dinner I was feeling all miserable about how stressed I am with work and had a brilliant idea!
Why don't I drink the wine out of that bottle that my parents-in-law left here when they came for the night last week? That way not only will I stop feeling stressed, I can wake up today feeling like crap and easily get Day 1 underway. No one needed to know - I'd already confessed to hubby that I'd had "a couple" of RTDs so he wouldn't suspect.
So while he was in the office on his computer and my son was over in the study nook working on an assignment I was in the kitchen "cleaning" and sneaking large gulps of wine. It felt better at the time, I started to feel more cheerful but by the time I got halfway through I realised I was going to get very drunk and caught. So I quickly tipped the rest of the bottle down the sink before I could change my mind.
Thank god I did that - because of course within half an hour the wine caught up to me and I was feeling quite drunk - I woke up a number of times in the night feeling like utter rubbish and had to start the day with a couple of panadol.
But the good news is that I don't have to debate with myself as to whether I should have a few RTDs today and argue as to why I deserve/need them.
Things feel different this time - I am determined, I will somehow get through these early difficult days and I'll have a plan for every situation so that I do not give in ever again.
Today's Benefit of Becoming Sober - I'll save an average of about $55 per week (almost $3000 per year! In 10 years I'll save $30k - that is enough for me to live on for 1 year so I can have a year off work as a 10 year reward!)
Your life WILL be so much better without alcohol, you just have to get past that point. I like your "today's benefit", hope you post one every day. Sounds like you do finally realize why you can't drink, one ALWAYS leads to another. I think that is difficult for us to accept, but it is the truth. Be strong this weekend, stay well-fed, get lots of sleep but keep busy. Post a lot, 10X a day if you need to, it doesn't matter what you say, or hang out at LivingSober and post all day. I wish you all the best this weekend.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for your encouragement - yes I finally have reluctantly seen as a result of many many experiments that I can not have "just one" or join in even for a wine "tasting" - it is red rag to a bull. Lots of wonderful advice, I'm definitely going to follow every little bit of it!
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